Let me explore this complex cognitive pattern that can occur in ADHD – it’s what we might call a “paradoxical failure trap.

Harold Robert Meyer and The ADD Resource Center addrc.org haroldmeyer@addrc.org

I’ll break it down carefully:

When a person with ADHD internalizes the expectation of failure, achieving success can lead to an emotionally confusing conflict.

The Default Setting: “I can’t do this” becomes a core belief

  • Past struggles reinforce this expectation
  • The person builds their self-image around anticipated failure
  • This becomes a comfortable, predictable framework

The Paradox When Success Happens:

  • Success contradicts the established self-narrative
  • Instead of feeling good, it creates cognitive dissonance
  • The mind tries to resolve this by reframing success as failure

The Failure-Success Loop:

  • If you expected to fail but succeeded → You “failed” at failing
  • If you succeeded when you “shouldn’t” have → Something must be wrong
  • The success feels like an impostor moment rather than an achievement

This creates a painful cycle where:

  • Success doesn’t feel earned or real
  • It reinforces feelings of being “broken” or “wrong”
  • It can increase anxiety about future tasks
  • It makes it harder to build confidence from achievements

For over 30 years, Harold Robert Meyer and The ADD Resource Center have provided expert ADHD support through:

  • Comprehensive services for individuals, families, and organizations:
    • Personalized guidance and education
    • Behavioral intervention strategies
    • Support for healthcare providers, educators, and industry
  • Evidence-based resources:
    • Informative articles and publications
    • Workshops and seminars
  • Advocacy to promote understanding and reduce stigma

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